I am not going to bore you with statistics regarding the death rates for teenage suicide in the States. Instead I hope that you will learn to recognize behaviors that may indicate your teen is at risk and what you should do.
What are some of the signs?:
You find that your teen is...
• Deeply hurt at the death of a close friend or family member, especially if a result of suicide.
• Making general statements about how life sucks.
• Giving away prized possessions.
• Isolating themselves from friends.
• Showing a lack of interest in social activities.
• Any change in appetite - eating more or less than usual.
• Any change is sleeping patterns - sleeping more or less than usual.
• Showing little concern for personal hygiene and dress.
• Less interested in their hobbies or sports.
• Threatening to kill themselves.
Any of the above signs, just one of them, should raise a red flag that needs attention from you.
Things that you must/should do:
• Take any threat, no matter how frequent, seriously. Yes, threats are attention seeking behaviors. But contrary to the layman's response of "Oh, they just want attention, ignore them". That one time you decide to ignore them is the time they actually attempt to kill themselves. Such threats, regardless of age, come from a person desperate for some attention and are willing to risk the ultimate, their lives.
• If you think they have suicidal thoughts ASK THEM!! Staying silent and hoping the "mood" will change does not help the desperate teenager. Remember, teens are very impulsive and often do things without considering the consequences.
• Consult with a professional with experience working with desperate teenagers. Do not try to resolve what is happening in your teenagers life alone.
• Sharpen your listening skills. One thing that may be happening in your family is that real communication that includes true understanding and empathy does not exist. There are many professionals that can help you and your spouse learn effective listening skills and problem solving techniques. It is also very effective to attend a parenting class where you can talk with other parents who are experiencing similar problems to yours.
Some prevention tips:
• Keep in touch with your kids so if they do change their behaviors you will notice.
• Attend parenting classes even when all seems to be well.
• Have frequent conversations with your teen that are nonthreatening and friendly.
• Have your teen tell you about their hobby, sport, music etc. without your trying to tell them your point of view. Be truly interested in what they are doing and if possible participate with them.
• Ask for their views on current events and politics. Accept their point of view, this does not mean you have to agree with them.
• Let your teen take the lead in family activities.
• Do not make fun of any thing that is important to them.
• Know who their friends are. Very often your teens choice in friends reflects how they see themselves.
• Learn how to hold family meetings.
• Be willing to give up more of your control as they get older. Just at the time your teen wants more freedom parent tend to become stricter and have more rules than when the teen was younger.
• Show respect for them, their ideas, their friends.
• Understand that your teen is struggling with becoming and adult and may have many fears about growing up making major decisions about their future.
• Never, ever, embarrass them in front of their friends. You may think you are a great comedian but making comments that poke fun at them are taken very seriously and hurt quite deeply.
• Let them know you love them every day!
• FIND TIME TO HAVE FUN!!!
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